Liar Liar Pants On Fire

Many Blogs and a good number of motorcycle related websites out there start to talk about Winter maintenance this time of the year. Some are tongue and cheek and some are serious advice articles. My mid-Winter maintenance post will be a combination of both. Being from the dealer side of the service counter i may have a slightly different perspective since i deal with these issues all the time. If your lucky, or take care of your bike, you will most likely only have to deal with maintenance issues a couple of times a year. For this reason i would consider myself more of an expert on motorcycle maintenance then most of the people i see walk in my shop.

I hear and read the horror stories all the time. So and so dealer is a rip off! he charged me three hundred bucks to change my spark plugs. What Mr Motorcyclists failed to mention was that his bike is a sport touring bike which required most of the body work to be removed just to get to the plugs and that when the mechanic finely unearthed the plugs, Mr Motorcyclist had already attempted to change the plugs himself and stripped the threads on two of the plugs and lost several of the special bolts required to hold those very expensive body panels in place. Mr Motorcyclists also listened to his "buddy" and went to the local Pep-Boys and crossed referenced some ninety eight cent auto plugs for the proper plugs his state of the art sport touring motorcycle was supposed to use and now his bike developed a skip. While Mr. Motorcyclist was dropping his bike off to have the "plugs changed" as he is turning away from the counter almost in a whisper he says " oh by the way, the clutch needs adjustment also. Its making more noise then it used to." In actuality what the mechanic found was that Mr Motorcyclists also changed his own oil and filter and again listened to his expert "buddy" and decided to use auto motor oil designed for high fuel economy and an auto oil filter with the wrong bypass valve rating and it caused his clutch plates to glazed over and this was the cause of his mysterious noise.

That scenario is typical of many of the horror stories you will hear out there from most people that are dissatisfied with dealer service. Lets break it down and see what went wrong.  Maybe you as a consumer might learn something about what dealers ( and i lump small repair shops in there along with big franchised dealer ships.) Anyone that makes his living working on motorcycles faces that same issues. That guy, and you know who I'm talking about, that guy that works on bikes on the side, out of his garage, shed, or basement,  but does not run a legitimate business doesn't count. Why? because he can operate outside the law. He doesn't have a business license or insurance. He has nothing to loose, not even his reputation. If he screws up he just doesn't answer his cell phone and disappears into the night.

So what went wrong with Mr. Motorcyclists visit to the dealership for service? First off if you want to have a good experience with service you have to approach it as you would any relationship. As we have all learned if you don't tell the truth to your wife or girlfriend you will get busted. This will in turn make your life a living hell. Think of your meeting with the service manager as your first date and a good impression will go along way in getting what you want. Service managers are usually mechanics with many years of experience. They are usually older and cant crawl around on hard, cold, cement floors any longer. They opt for the relative comfort of the stool behind the service counter. In smaller shops like mine. I AM the service manager so you could be talking to the owner as well. I'm also the book keeper, head mechanic, parts guy, security, and janitor. So when you stand there and try to lie to me about whats wrong with your bike. There is a good chance I'll see through your story. This is why most service managers get the reputation of being like a prosecuting attorney. When we smell a bullshit story, we attack like a shark that got a whiff of blood. Man up dude and tell me EVERYTHING you did to the bike ( or had a "buddy" try to do ) so i don't spend three hours trying to back track someone else's hack job to get to the root of your bikes problem. Also don't down play the symptoms hoping that if you say it's something simple it will be less expensive fix. In most instances a bike that is brought in for service has already been looked at by at least two other amateurs. Usually the owner tries to service it himself, and when he reaches the limits of his ability he takes it to his buddy that he thinks is an expert because he "rides allot".  So now your standing in front of me and i have to beat out of you the truth as to whats up with your bike that you first claimed just needed plugs. Can you see where this is going folks? Your already starting out on the wrong foot.

When you finally get the service appointment show up and on time. Unlike popular myth, mechanics are not sitting around in the back watching porn and playing cards. They have to be kept busy to make it worth employing them. If something comes up and you can't make it then call and explain. Just blowing off a service appointment is a guarantee you will be the last person on earth that gets his bike serviced at that shop.  If what ever service you are having done was something you can wait for, then bring something to keep yourself busy. Read a book, take a walk to the donut shop anything other then standing around trying to talk with people who are at work and trying to get things done. This is especially important in smaller shops ( mine )where everyone wears more then one hat and is not paid to socialize. If the appointment requires you to leave the bike over night or until it is fixed, do not call every six hours asking if it's done yet. This will not make the process faster. If anything it makes you look like an ass. 

So the tech working on your bike finds the problem, decides to either fix if it is doable without spending many hours and many dollars on parts. Or he will write up an estimate of parts and labor and contact you first. You can choose to have your bike fixed or pick your bike up and pay for the  diagnostic fee. Yes that's right diagnostic fee. Believe it or not some people think they can have the shop tell them whats wrong with the bike so they can take it back to their "buddy" and have him finish the job without paying the shop a diagnostic fee. Folks I'm not making this shit up, it really happens.

Most shops have good working relationships with their vendor for parts and supplies. Their reputation depends on the parts they use to do the repair. Sometimes they are not the cheapest parts, but they are what the tech feels is necessary for the job. Do not start to debate what parts you want to have installed because you heard such and such spark plugs are cheaper. Or brand "A" oil is just as good and available at Wal-Mart for half of what the techs shop recommends. You are not the expert and if your way of doing things was better then a tech with formal training, or an old crusty mechanic with thirty years of experience then you would have already solved your bikes problem and not have had to seek help from somebody that does this stuff for a living. While we are talking about comparisons, please don't get pissy when faced with an estimate you think is to high because your "buddy" had his bike serviced and he only paid half of what your bike will cost. Unless your "buddy" has exactly the same make and model, and it has exactly the same problem you can't compare apples and oranges. You might have a Honda CBR1000RR and your "buddy" had a Kawasaki KZ750 LTD worked on. The difference in just the price of the spark plugs between those two bikes is over fifty bucks! That doesn't even take in consideration that the KZ750's plugs take 5 minutes to change while the CBR1000RR requires you remove all the lower faring body work to even see the spark plugs!

Most service shops are not your stereotypical sleazy used car lot types of operations. Any business that is legitimately licensed and insured and run out of a commercial building has a reputation to protect and they don't spend all their spare time plotting how to scam unsuspecting motorcyclists. In today's world of better business bureau, consumer reports, credit card insured, small claims court, Internet forum reporting outlets for consumers to get satisfaction or down right revenge, a legitimate service shop would have to be crazy to try to operate in any way other then on the up and up. Some guy working out of his wood shed might be able to pull that sort of thing, he has nothing to loose. But a business that has been around for a while will go out of their war to cultivate a good reputation. Word of mouth has and always will be the best advertising. In most instances a dispute with a service shop today comes more out of miscommunication between the shops service manager ( owner, chief cook and bottle washer guy...around here that means ME. ) and YOU the bikes owner. This is why it is so important for you to be honest and open with us when your requesting service. On the same token service managers and shop owners must never assume a customer would want you to just go ahead and fix something without checking with them first. Every bike that comes in my shop for a rear tire gets it's rear brake pads checked. If there is less then fifty percent of the pad material left i stop what i am doing and call the customer to ask if he wants the pads replaced while it is already apart. Then i save the worn pads to show the customer. Most of the time they actually thank me for taking the time to check them and let them know in advance. I never just go ahead and replace parts. In this economy, and extra fifty or eighty bucks is a big deal to most folks. So my advice to shop owners or service techs out there is to take the extra few minutes and call the customer. In the long run it will make you more money.

Skilled motorcycle mechanics ( which includes experienced shop owners, and service managers ) are like anyone else in most ways. If you want to get on their good side you have to use your head a little. Here are a few tips that will help build a relationship with them. Mutual respect and common sense, goes along way in any relationship. Many of these can be lumped into the same category as "Universal rules of Life"

#1. Don't get know as "that guy". That guy is the guy that comes into your shop every week. He stands there yapping and talking for 45 minutes or longer! He either never buys a thing or he might spend a couple of bucks on a goggle lens if he is an off-road guy. Or a helmet sticker for his novelty helmet he bought at the mall if he is a street guy. All the while he is in your shop he is bragging about all the stuff he got on Ebay for his bike and how much money he saved. He never spends a dime at your shop but then when he is in a bind and needs service has the nerve to want special treatment because he is a regular customer.

#2. Avoid being labeled as the "cry baby".  Every shop has a few guys that will stand there and look you in the eye, and cry poverty. Bitch and moan how expensive everything is and how his motorcycle is costing him and arm and a leg.  The worst offenders are the ones that cry poverty and yet drive in and get out of their new Porsche 911 sports car wearing their two hundred dollar sunglasses. They spend twenty minutes telling you about their vacation in Tuscany and now wants me to give him a discount on a new tire for his bike. And mount it for free.

#3. Don't be a racer Daddy. Racer Daddies are those guys that walk in your shop with their kids and want to know what you are going to give his son because "he races". This always get the immediate eye roll response. Now racer Daddy goes into his speech about all the amateur races Jason has won. He tells you every sponsors this kid has including the dry cleaners around the corner. Jason ( with his hat on side ways ) never once looks up from his cell phone. Dad looks me straight in the eye and asks how many tires I'll be giving him. When i finally get a word in, i politely reply "we are not sponsoring anyone at this time, but good luck with your season". Daddy gets irate and storms out yelling he is going across town to my competitor because they are a "real shop" and that I'll "never make it in business". I wish i had a dime for every time a racer Daddy has said that to me in the last forty years of being in this business.

#4. Don't be the bridge burner. The bridge burner is the guy that has a motorcycle with a mysterious problem that no one has ever been able to fix. The bridge burner walks in your shop and spends thirty minutes bad mouthing every dealer, repair shop, and every person that has ever touched his motorcycle. Each and every one of them "fucked it up worse" according to the bridge burner. He is the type of consumer that has the Better Business Bureau and his attorney on speed dial. Now he stands before you and actually thinks you want to even look at his bike. "Sorry, we are booked up sir, have a nice day".

#5. Don't be Mr. Argumentative. The service manager or (shop owners) job is to try and asses what might be wrong with a customers bike BEFORE he takes it in. Back in the old days, you would just take it in and deal with what it needs later. Not these days, now we have to try and avoid trouble before it happens! I have a saying around here that goes - "I just saved money by turning that guy away". The quickest way to get turned away at a service shop is to be argumentative with the shops owner/service manager as to what might be wrong with your bike. It's pretty obvious that you can't fix your bike yourself or you would not be standing in front of me. When a customer says "no i checked that" or "no i already tried that" or "no that's not what causes that". This is when i say - "Ok, well , let's see.....looks like the next appointment i have open is five months from now".

It's pretty simple folks. Most of the usual pitfalls of motorcycle service can be avoided with a little common sense, manners and above all honesty. Service shop owners have been doing this allot longer then you have. We have heard it all, seen it all and been down that road a million times. We don't like stress anymore then you do. So next time your bike needs service, face the fact that a professional motorcycle mechanics time is worth money. And that motorcycle parts are more expensice then parts for a 1993 Ford pick up. We realize that your motorcycle is your hobby but you must also realize that it is our way to make a living. You don't work for free at your job, so why would you expect a professional motorcycle tech to give away his knowledge, training, and experience.

Spring is right around the corner!