“I’m an idiot, my bad, I screwed up, I didn’t know what I was doing, I’m sorry "

How to buy motorcycle parts 101 or another one of Crusty’s rants about the dumb ass customers that make shop owners and parts managers want to pull the 357 out from under the counter and put one right between their eyes.

ALWAYS take apart the bike (or component of the bike) apart first. Make notes of not only the year, make and model, but check to make sure it’s a stock/OEM part or if its an aftermarket part. Measure the part to make sure its standard or oversized where applicable. If you do not have an accurate measuring device like calipers, bring the part to the dealer and they will be more then happy to check it out for you.

Which brings me to the next rule in buying motorcycle parts. BRING THE OLD PARTS WITH YOU! It is amazing how many people don’t even know what year, make an model bike they own! They believed that guy they bought it from that they were buying one year bike when in fact its two years older! NEVER, EVER assume its what you think it is unless you bought it brand new off the show room yourself. This goes double from those E-bay specials that have one year engine, a different year frame and wheels off of something else! If you want to insure you get the right parts on the first trip, bring the old ones with you. Oh and if this motorcycle is Chinese made....FORGET IT. Its worthless, junk it and buy another one, if that’s the kind of bike you want. (cruel but true)

"Oh but I don’t have the time, I need to buy parts and put them in for the weekend. Can’t you just look it up?" Sure, but that doesn’t mean they will fit. In today’s world, with so many different aftermarket modifications and accessories you just never know. There is no guarantee that what the book says fits, will fit YOUR particular bike. You got to also understand, that it’s NOT like the automotive industry where many, many models cross over and parts fit many different years and applications.

"I knew the last owner, he is my best buddy, he told me it was stock" Yeah right! I have heard that a million times as the guy was returning parts because he claims I sold him the wrong ones. And while we are on THAT subject. WHY IN HELL would I knowingly sell you the wrong parts? Of course you are going to bring them back! Do I REALLY want to get them back? Of course not. Nine times out of ten, it’s a lack of information or wrong information that leads to the wrong parts being sold.

"I put the parts on my bike (or installed them in my bike) then I realized I picked up the wrong ones. You will take them back right?" Ahhh NO! You have USED them kiddo...so know you own them. "But I never started the engine, why cant I return a piston kit I bought from you?" NO, they are USED! Weather or not you started the engine or not. Once the parts are installed they are used. Would YOU want to buy parts somebody else has already installed or mounted for your bike? NO of course not. You want BRAND SPANKING NEW, unused, untouched parts just like everyone else. "Oh so I guess I’m stuck with them then huh?" Yeah, well you fucked up! Because you were to lazy to take the old parts with you, you made the decision to gamble on them fitting and they didn’t. Greasy oil covered, dirty parts = USED. Parts mising the packaging = USED . If I can’t put them back on the shelf and resell them I consider them USED.

"Why is there a 20% re-stocking fee to return a special order part for a refund?" If you fucked up and now want to get a refund, the industry standard is a 20% return fee. If I had to special order it, just for you, then it’s not a part I usually stock. I either have to keep it or return it to my vendor. ALL motorcycle parts distributors have the same basic 20% re-stocking fee to do this. I have to employee a shipping and receiving person and pay the shipping charge to return YOUR mistake. If I made the mistake, then of course there is no fee to exchange or return it.

"That’s not what I call customer service!" You want better customer service? You’ll get that when you go to the mall and return your skirt. This is where men come to buy motorcycle parts. You act like a man, you get treated like a man. Apparently your Dad never took you to the parts store when you were a kid so you could see how men act.

"I’m an idiot, my bad, I screwed up, I didn’t know what I was doing, I’m sorry can I return the used parts now?" Yeah you screwed up, but the answer is still no. Saying you’re an idiot won’t make it all better. I’m not your momma, and I’m not gonna tell you everything is going to be ok.

As John Wayne said - "Sorry don’t get it done Dude"